England - A frank and honest assessment

NB. Apologies for any profanities below. This is a subject which is very close to my heart and I have very strong opinions on it.


Being an England fan is difficult. We very rarely have anything to cheer about despite being the country that invented the beautiful game and introduced it to the world.
It's an unconditional love. It doesn't matter how shit they are, how many times they mess us about, how badly they treat us, we'll always come crawling back. You only have to look at those hardy souls who applauded the team off the pitch last night against Costa Rica.

England players given standing ovation after lacklustre display

Every tournament that comes and goes we have thousand of loyal fans who spend a fortune and put every other thing in their life on hold to travel the breadth of the planet to roar our boys on. You just know that they'll be doing it again in France '16 and Russia '18, should we qualify (definitely not a given).
And they do it because we believe. We always believe. Every single tournament, deep down we fool ourselves into thinking 'whatif...?'
This time around expectation was lower than normal (which we were told would work in our favour), but surely I wasn't alone in thinking we were going to get out of the group, and then who knows what will happen? I'm fairly confident we'd have had enough to get past Greece, but Colombia would have ripped us a new arsehole.

I really like Roy Hodgson, as I've made clear previously. He is a proper gentleman, in the Bobby Robson mould. He conducts himself well, and the players both like him and respect him. He knows the game and has a proven track record of getting the most out of average players (which should be a prefect fit for this job).
Results aside, it looked like he got the preparation for the World Cup spot on from an outsiders point of view. Even his squad selection was basically what most others wanted to see (leaving out Ashley Cole for Leighton Baines was still his biggest mistake). Out with the old, in with the new. We were all relatively happy going into the tournament.
However, I have to admit I'm starting to run out of patience after the displays this World Cup.

Great performance Roy!

The display last night was a disgrace akin to the Algeria match in South Africa 4 years ago in my opinion. There was no fight or desire from the players, very little skill, some dreadful finishing and some quite laughable play from a number of individuals. These were players who were supposed to want to make an impression! And once again all we're hearing from Roy and his coaching staff is how positive it was!

"I take positives - this was a banana skin. To get that display was great since for many it was new. I am pleased at least to have given the fans something to cheer about in terms of our performance."

I am completely fed up of hearing this bullshit. We're not fucking stupid, you can't just tell us it was encouraging and expect us to believe it! We all saw it with our own eyes, it was truly painful to watch.
Even Glenn Hoddle (a man who's views I respect) was saying at half time what a good performance it had been. Sorry, but we must have been watching an entirely different match!?
The past two weeks have just been shit chat about how great everything is. Gary Neville told us in the aftermath of the opening game defeat to Italy that it was the best an England side had played in 15 years. Firstly, where is this 15 years coming from? Secondly, I'd disagree. What about hammering Denmark in Japorea '02? Or beating Argentina in the same tournament? What about Croatia away in qualifying for Euro '08 under the much maligned Steve McClaren? Admittedly there haven't been loads of great performances, but give me a break. We bloody well lost, it doesn't matter how heroic you think we were in the process!

The last really good England team - we could have won it in 2002!

After every tournament we get the same old bollocks about how we're building for X number of years time!! Hodgson has now said that it's going to take this squad six years to fulfil any potential. Where's the fucking progress?! Do we just keep pushing the bar on a few years and turn a blind eye? It's just accepting failure over and over again.

All this tournament has done is made me realise just how shit we actually are and how depressing the situation is. There are literally no positives to take from it in my eyes (Sterling at a push). One point from a possible nine, against the team expected to be the whipping boys of the group.
Yes, Shaw, Sterling, the Ox and Barkley look extremely exciting prospects, and there is still time for Wilshere (though he's got to improve massively!), plus I seriously rate Flanagan and especially Stones (both of whom should have been in the squad at the expense of Jones and Smalling - see my pre World Cup blog), but the rest (Cahill, Rooney, Walcott and Hart aside) are just not up to it!

I'm bored sick of hearing how good Adam Lallana is - I want some fucking proof! He's now played 9 times for England, and I can't remember a single thing he's done? Yes, he had a great season for Southampton, but it just hasn't happened at international level yet.
Hoddle keeps banging on at every given opportunity about what a talent he is and that the rest of the team aren't on his wavelength. Just get a room Glenn.

Lallana - I'm not convinced

And how fucking poor was Sturridge?! Last night in particular, but throughout the tournament if the truth be told. Really disappointing!! He missed so many chances it wasn't funny. I don't remember their keeper ever having to even make a save out of him? Would Suarez or Van Persie kept missing those chances?
The penalty he should have had - a better player would have controlled the ball into the space on his right side, away from the defender and buried it! And then there was a piece of control I'd have been embarrassed to watch on the local park on a Sunday morning in the second half when the ball ricochet to him. He is nowhere near world class as things stand and must improve on his finishing.

Jageilka should be nowhere near another squad, Baines should be back up at best, Henderson (who I thought would be good) might just be a willing runner, I don't know? Johnson should be dropped until he gets his act together. As I said pre tournament, he has been coasting for ages, and his attitude stinks.

As much as I think having Gerrard and/or Lampard around is useful, their time is up now. They have to retire (that said, the game was crying out Frank against Uruguay in my opinion).
Gerrard had a particularly poor tournament, going missing/being over run in both of his matches and making the crucial mistake that led to the knock out blow.

Thanks for everything lads but time's up

Until we as a country become more cynical in our play I genuinely don't think we can compete. The margins are so fine at the top level, every little thing counts, and we need to give ourselves the biggest chance possible. Uruguay are the best possible example of country who will do absolutely anything required to win (as we've seen countless times). And we are far, far too nice.
As the ball broke to the Uruguayan midfielder in the middle of the pitch in the lead up to their first goal, someone should have just chopped him down, both Gerrard and Henderson had the opportunity. Danger evaded, simple as that. Take a booking. Watch any other team, and you'll see them do it, but not us.
Go back to that game against Brazil in 2002. 1-0 up and looking good. Ronaldinho picks the ball up deep into his half and runs half the pitch without being taken out. First Beckham and then Scholes are guilty of feeble challenges that don't end the run. You know the rest.
The Maradona goal (the non cheating one) in Mexico '86 was the same. How many people did he get passed?
I can assure you that every single other country would not allow that to happen, but we are too fair, too honest. Until that changes, these things will continue to happen.
My blood has only just stopped boiling at the sheer naivety of not kicking Suarez out of the game last Thursday. Let's just say if I was on the coaching staff I'd have had certain instructions as to how to deal with him.
Yes, it's not nice, and yes it's probably beyond the edges of the laws of the game. It might not even be in keeping with the Corinthian spirit, but I guarantee you it's only us who see it this way.

I am feeling completely deflated today. What a shit couple of weeks after all the build up, and four years of waiting. I never thought I'd say this, but the rest of the tournament just isn't appealing to me like I thought it would. Gutted isn't the word.
But, despite all this, I love England with all my heart. It doesn't matter what they do to me, I always will.


Can you find any positives? Is there any glimmer of light? Did that really happen?!

Leave your comments below and please follow me on Twitter: @russellheaps

Match Day 5 - Review - Powerful Germans make their mark

On day 5 we saw in my opinion the best team we have seen at the World Cup thus far. A ruthless Germany swept aside a poor, ill disciplined Portuguese team in baking conditions, laying down their marker in the process.


Match of the day: Germany v Portugal

This big match up of the day perhaps didn't live up to the pre match billing, but only because it turned out to be so one sided. As I suggested in my run through of the groups prior to the tournament, Portugal are a team completely reliant on their star player. That Ronaldo started despite a reported knee injury said it all. The only surprise was that he was stuck out on the left, on the periphery of the action, when he clearly needed to be playing through the middle.
As it was, Portugal had the early running in this one, with the first two chances of the game falling their way. First Almeida (a man with only one goal in 3 months, a little like Andy Carroll being our lead striker) had a weak effort easily claimed by Neur after good play by Ronaldo, and then the latter blazed wildly over from distance. Ronaldo again had a chance after an uncharacteristic mistake by Lahm, caught dwelling on the ball was robbed by Veloso. As the angle narrowed, he could only side foot his effort into the advancing Neur who smothered well.
Almost immediately Germany had a gilt edged opportunity to take the lead at the other end, the awful Patricio in goal for Portugal clearing under little pressure whilst outside his goal to Sami Khedira. The German midfielder, playing after a miraculous recovery from a serious knee injury, should have scored, but with the goal at his mercy, could only watch as the ball rolled agonisingly wide.
They didn't have to wait long before they did break the deadlock. In the 10th minute, following the best move of the match, Goetze spun passed Joao Pereira and bore down on goal. The Portuguese defender clumsily hauled him down, and the referee pointed to the spot. It could quite easily have been a red card, but the ref decided on yellow. The terrific Muller, with socks around his ankles as if from a bygone age, made no mistake with a typically clinical finish into the corner.
Ten minutes later Portugal through the otherwise wasteful Nani had a good effort from the edge of the area, the ball swerving narrowly over the bar. This came against the run of play however, Portugal standing off and showing the Germans far too much respect.
On the half hour, a great cross field pass released Mesut Ozil in behind the defence. He in turn laid it off to Goetze who's shot was blocked for a corner. And it was from the resulting set play that Germany doubled their lead. A perfect delivery from Kroos, met emphatically by Mats Hummels with a thunderous header ripped into the net.

Hummels powers home

At the other end Coentrao had an opportunity to shoot but opted to try and square to an offside Ronaldo, and then Eder, on for the injured Almeida, headed over from a corner.
The games big talking point came when Pepe, almost playing himself into trouble at the back, caught Muller in the face with a flailing arm. It certainly wouldn't have hurt the big German, but he went down as if he'd been shot, trying to get the defender sent off. Pepe, understandably annoyed by such antics, confronted Muller, but inexplicably pushed his head into the German as he sat on the ground, leaving the ref with little choice but to brandish the red.
To compound the misery for the Portuguese, Muller grabbed his second on the stroke of half time, closing down an attempted clearance by Alves, before turning and smashing the ball past Patricio. Arguably the keeper may have done better?
It would have seemed sensible at 3-0 down for Portugal to take off their star man, Ronaldo, who hadn't been in the game, saving him for their remaining matches, but he did re-appear, and was deployed in a more central role to little effect.
In truth the second half never really got going, the Germans happy to keep possession and understandably preserve energy in sapping conditions.
Muller did grab his hat-trick with ten minutes remaining, a cross by sub Andre Schurlle was spilled by the hapless keeper, laying the chance on a plate for the German to gobble up.

The fantastic Muller completes his hat-trick

There was some bad news for Germany on an otherwise perfect day, their fantastic centre half Hummels hobbling off with what appeared a nasty knee twist.
Despite potentially losing one of their first choice half centre halves, Germany look like the strongest squad in the competition, and this display will have sent a message across the world. Portugal looked anything but a threat. With injuries to Coentrao and Almeida, coupled with a ban for Pepe, they will struggle to even beat their next opponents USA.


In the days other matches, a dull affair between Nigeria and Iran was to finish goalless, the first draw of the competition. Neither team will have worried Bosnia or Argentina, and it is difficult to see them causing many upsets in Group F.
And a far more lively match between USA and Ghana was the day's late kick off. The US started at breakneck speed, taking the lead after only 30 seconds through Clint Dempsey, turning inside his marker and expertly guiding past Kwarasey in the Ghanaian goal. The large American contingent in the stands went wild.

US fans enjoying the goal on Copacabana beach

They could have doubled their lead when the worst player in the Premier League, Jozy Altidore, opted to shoot when a lay off to Jones would have been the better option. Altidore was soon to see his World Cup cruelly finish as he was forced off with a pulled hamstring. I breathed a sigh of relief in the knowledge my promise to never watch football again if he were to score at the tournament was no longer under threat.
For large portions of the remainder of the match, Ghana had most of the possession and chances, but poor decisions and terrible final balls meant USA with Tim Howard having a great game in goal never looked like they would make the breakthrough. However, with ten minutes left they did just that. A superb back heel by ex Sunderland man Asamoah Gyan found Andre Ayew who collected and slotted past the American at his near post with the outside of his boot.
There only looked one winner from here, but in a rare attack, the US forced a corner, and from a good delivery, half time substitute John Brooks rose highest to power in an unstoppable header to seal all three points against the odds.


Hero of the day: Thomas Muller - a measure in Teutonic efficiency. The man who finished top scorer in the World Cup 4 years ago has put his marker down early with a ruthlessly taken hat-trick this time around. Equally comfortable in midfield to leading the line, Muller is a player of the highest quality.

Disappointment of the day: Portugal - it'd have been harsh to single out their star man Ronaldo, simply because his team mates were so poor. I had predicted as much, so maybe they weren't a disappointment as such, but with players from some of the top sides in Europe, you could have expected more than what they delivered? In reality they were blown away by a rampant German side, and offered no resistance at all. Surely they will worry for their chances of qualifying for the second phase now.

Villain of the day: Pepe - the Portuguese centre back is no stranger to controversy, often cited as one of the most dirty players at the top level of football. However, here he showed shear stupidity to get sent off, letting his team down badly. The man has got a screw loose. Muller should himself take plenty of criticism after his play acting antics led to the Portuguese's dismissal.

Pepe: Lost his head (again)

Wanker of the day: Robbie Savage - co-commentating on the USA v Ghana match for the BBC, Savage gave one of the most critical displays I've ever heard. Does he actually like football? He certainly appears to see little joy in the game. Anyone would have thought that he was the second coming of Pele, and not a journey man clogger who was known for his energy and winding opposition players up, rather than his scintillating skill or ability to open up a defence.

Robbie Savage: hates football

Moment of the day: USA's winning goal - John Brooks' reaction to his winning header was one of the highlights of the tournament so far. I know little of his back ground, but it was great to see a player who clearly cared so much, and couldn't quite believe what he'd just done. A great moment that will live long in the US's football history.

John Brooks in dream land

Are Germany now the team to beat? Can they become the first European nation to succeed in South America? Were Portugal the worst of the 'big' nations we've seen so far? Did you manage to sit through all of the Iran v Nigeria snooze-fest? Can USA now qualify for the second round?

Leave your comments below and please follow me on Twitter: @russellheaps

Match Day 4 - Review - Messi Arrives (Eventually)

The high scoring, free flowing football continued on yet another entertaining day at World Cup 2014. We have been spoiled so far, with there being only one match where there has been less than 3 goals, and there has still not been a draw in the competition.
Day 4 was our first glimpse at many people's tips for the title, Argentina, and whilst they edged passed an unsurprisingly strong Bosnian side, they won't have been causing many nightmares on that one performance alone. We also got a look at a young and inexperienced French team as well as the efficient Swiss.


Match of the Day: Argentina v Bosnia

Perhaps the biggest surprise in the lead up to this match was that manager Alejandro Sabella opted to start with only two of his triumvirate of Messi, Ageuro and Higuain, the latter dropping to the bench. This was clearly designed to counter a physical and stubborn Bosnian side with their five man midfield. expect to see him revert to three up top in an effort to blow away their weaker Group F opponents Iran and Nigeria.
The match got off to the worst possible start for the Bosnian's with an extremely unfortunate own goal by Kolasinac after only 2 minutes. A good free kick from wide was flicked on by an Argentina head, and simply hit the defender on the knee, giving Begovic in goal no chance.

Terrible start for Bosnia

Rather than spur the South Americans on, they took their foot well off the pedal, happy to play at walking pace, trying to draw the Bosnians out with high possession in deep areas.
Bosnia's first chance arrived with a delicious chipped ball from the excellent Pjanic into the stretching Lulic, who just about managed to bring it down, before keeper Romero smothered. As the ball broke loose Dzeko was on his heels and the defence managed to clear it away.
Lionel Messi and Sergio Aguero were struggling to impose themselves on the game, marshalled well by a strong Bosnia rearguard. Their physical game, coupled with their larger size mean they were dominating the two diminutive forwards.
It was the size difference that seemed to be Bosnia's best way back into the game, with corners and set plays causing problems with the shaky looking Argentina back line. Romero in goal making a superb save down low at his post to turn away a bullet header from Lulic from a corner.
If the Argentina performance on the pitch hadn't quite taken off, their fans were certainly doing their best to raise them. Their continued chanting and wild noise as impressive from any set of fans we've seen yet at the tournament.
By half time, Argentina only had one shot on target, a long range effort from Mascherano, no trouble for Begovic. It had been a disappointing showing from the favourites by this stage.
There was a noticeable change in pace from the Argentines at the beginning of the second period, their passing at a much higher tempo, plus they were pushing more player forward. Messi was seeing more of the ball, and it was he who fed Aguero, but the Manchester City hot shot ballooned high and wide.
Messi then had a free kick 30 yards out which he put well over the bar, but moments later he provided the moment we'd all been waiting for. Picking up the ball deep in midfield, he surged forward, playing a one-two with Aguero, slalomed across the edge of the area before curling the ball in off the inside of the post. It was a typically Messi-esque goal, one we've seemingly seen a thousand times, but one that no defence is able to stop.

Messi lights the blue touch paper

The goal was to breathe new life into Argentina, and as they pushed for a third, it looked like the game was over. Bosnia responded by bringing another forward on to supplement the isolated Dzeko. It was the sub, Ibisevic, who gave them hope when he scored against the run of play on 84 minutes, slipping in under Romero, the ball just having enough on it to take it over the line.
Disappointingly, the Bosnian's didn't push for the equaliser, nor did they raise the pace of their play, something which they will need to do going forward should they want to progress. They'd been a little underwhelming, as despite their individual quality, it just didn't feel that they could change things when they needed to.
The final action of the match saw the game stretched, and Messi broke away, but could only hit the side netting when it looked likely that he'd wrap up the win in style.
Overall, Argentina won't have persuaded many that they are going to go all the way in this tournament, although you feel there is more to come from them, and you can't rest a moment with the likes of Messi around.


Elsewhere, an impressive looking France brushed aside a physical Honduras 3-0. After 15 minutes Matuidi headed towards goal, the keeper making a great save onto the bar. Griezmann too was soon thwarted by the woodwork after good work down the left from the impressive Evra.
The first flashpoint of the match came just before the half hour when Paul Pogba was knocked to the floor by Stoke's Wilson Palacios, who then trampled all over the Frenchman. Pogba understandably took umbrage to this, kicking out at the Honduran, who made the most of minimal contact. By the letter of the law, the ref should have dismissed Pogba, but he was very fortunate when both were shown a yellow.

Pogba can count himself very fortunate after lashing out

The same duo were then involved in the incident that gave France the lead. Palacios needlessly pushing Pogba in the back inside the area, and seeing red for his troubles. Benzema made no mistake from the spot, wrong footing the keeper and smashing high into the net.
The lead was doubled early in the second half, as a diagonal ball over the top found Benzema, who met it first time, crashing a sumptuous volley off the far post. As the ball came back across the goal, keeper Valladares fumbled the ball, but seemed to clasp it back just before it crossed the line. The goal line technology was called upon for the first time this competition, a farcical turn of events seeing the goal at first ruled out before then being awarded. I still have my doubts, as camera angles proved inconclusive.
There was no such debate about the third goal, Benzema again, hammering high into the net from a tight angle.
France had been quietly impressive against the worst side we've seen yet in Brazil. They should negotiate their weak group with ease, and it'll be interesting to see how they compare against other top nations.
In the other Group E fixture, Switzerland overcame Ecuador with a 2-1 victory, scoring their winner with the last kick of the match, a sickener for the Ecuadorian's who deserved a point from the match.

Hero of the day: Lionel Messi - despite a quiet first half (at which point he was looking like featuring as my disappointment of the day), the little genius burst in to life in the second period, scoring the conclusive goal that saw off Bosnia. A lot is expected of the Argentine, but if anyone can deliver, Messi can. He'll need to find his best form to carry this team to the final, something his predecessor Maradona did back in '86.

Disappointment of the day: Eden Dzeko - Offered very little, with no movement or work rate. Admittedly isolated in a lone striker role, but did not do his bit for the team, and had only one shot in the match, a shot he put well over the bar when arguably he should have been passing to a team mate.

The most movement we saw from Dzeko all night

Villain of the day: Wilson Palacios - The Stoke midfielder was sent off for two bookable offences, but could have been dismissed even earlier. Summed up a poor Honduran side who's only chance of matching France was to kick them off the park.

Wanker of the day: Clarke Carlisle - In the commentary box, ITV treated us to a man best known for his appearance on Countdown. His appointment is one of the least inspired from the channel, and I'd go so far to say I'd rather listen to Andy O'Townsend than this smug, self indulgent man. And that is saying a lot.

Moment of the day: Messi's goal. Not only a great solo effort, but a brilliant reaction from the Argentine fans in the stadium.


How impressed were you by Argentina? Are they really good enough to win the cup? Are France dark horses here or will they come unstuck against better opposition? Is my bet for Honduras to get the most yellow cards in the group stages nailed on?

Leave your comments below and please follow me on Twitter: @russellheaps

Match Day 2 - Review - The Future's Oranje?

We were treated to a feast of football on day 2 of the World Cup. Undoubtedly the highlight was the thrilling performance of the Dutch as they dismantled the reigning champions in emphatic style akin to the Bayern Munich performances against Barcelona just over a year ago. Central to those performances was one man, Arjen Robben, a player who is consistently, and criminally overlooked when it comes to handing out the awards at the end of each season. His pace and direct play coupled with his unbelievable close control were too much for a leaden footed Spanish defence, and he punished them mercilessly. An individual performance as good as that has not been seen in some time. Truly sensational.
Elsewhere we saw more goals, lots of attacking play, and unfortunately further poor officiating.

Rio Ferdinand , as expected, brought nothing to the party. How a man who can barely string two sentences together has been employed as an analyst by the BBC is beyond me? His comparing of Busquets with Carrick summed up his ineptitude, and I for one shall be avoiding him at all costs going forward. the BBC have two of the most erudite and knowledgeable men, in Pat Nevin and Danny Murphy, available to them, yet they go with this muppet.
And, as for Mark 'Lawro' Lawrenson, well, you'd think he'd be delighted to be at the World Cup in Brazil, but no, it would appear that he'd rather be anywhere but. Cheer up you miserable old sod!

Rio Ferdinand. No thanks.

Match of the Day: Spain v Holland

Arguably the most anticipated of the first round of matches, pitting the two finalists from 4 years ago against one another. One hoped that there would be unfinished business from that tempestuous affair, but the game panned out in a much different fashion, in a way that no one would have predicted.
Following a slow start in which Spain maintained possession without creating anything (sound familiar?), the first chance fell to Sneijder, who went one on one with Casillas after a slide rule pass by Robben cut through the heart of the Spanish midfield. His shot was weak, and easily smothered by the Spaniard.
Aston Villa's Ron Vlaar was marshalling the ineffective Costa (being booed by the home fans) well, and made a great block to stop a goalbound effort.
David Silva's influence was growing, and he looked the man most likely to unlock the solid Dutch rearguard. He himself was found for a great chance, but opted to pass when a shot was on. Not for the first time would his decision making prove wasteful.
The opening goal came when Costa got the ball inside the area, and as he cut inside, he was caught by the trailing leg of the defender. Replays showed that he was definitely looking for it, and had conned the referee.
The magnificently hirsute Alonso made no mistake from the spot to give Spain the lead. After 27 minutes, this the first shot on goal from the Spanish.

Xabi: Knows how to wear a beard (and score a penalty)

The cracks were however starting to show in the Spain defence. Their high line was nearly exposed by Robben a number of times, and you got the feeling that should they beat the offside trap, they would get a chance. It was becoming increasingly clear that Spain are missing their leader Carlos Puyol more than anyone, Ramos and Pique just not in the same class.
The opportunity finally came moments before the break, with a beautiful 50 yard diagonal ball from the impressive Daley Blind (son of former Dutch defender Danny, now a coach with the team), but with a lot still to do, Robin van Persie provided the moment of the tournament so far, with a brilliant diving header from just inside the box, leaving Casillas clutching for air.
The second half would take a very different route. Robben got the first chance of the half, fed by a chipped pass (again by Blind) to the edge of the area. He brought it down expertly, cut inside Pique, before firing home via a deflection from Ramos.

The hapless Sergio Ramos

Another surging Robben run through the middle of the Spanish half saw him get the ball out to Van Persie who crashed a half volley off the bar, nearly snapping the woodwork.
A third was soon to follow though, with a deep free kick into the box fumbled under pressure by Casillas, and de Vrij just about bundled the ball in at the back post.
Substitute Pedro threatened to get Spain back into the game, his good header spilled by Cillessen, but Silva's follow up was correctly ruled off side.
Things were to get much worse for Spain, with veteran keep Casillas dwelling on the ball, and Van Persie robbing him before poking home.
Robben wrapped up the scoring with stunning solo goal, sitting Casillas on his backside before hammering high into the net.
And there was still time for him to be denied the goal of the tournament with a superbly struck volley being saved, before Torres managed to miss an open goal, something which just isn't a surprise any longer.
The match could easily have ended with the Dutch having scored 8 or even 9. A quite formidable effort, and they've turned the group on it's head, and silenced many critics, including myself.


In the other matches, my dark horses Chile overcame Australia in a match which looked like it could be a rout after 15 minutes, with Chile leading 2-0 through goals from the irresistible Alexis Sanchez and Valdivia. Australia to their credit fought back well, led by an inspired Tim Cahill, the former Everton man halving the deficit with a textbook header before the break. Chile completed the scoring through Wigan player Jean Beausejour in injury time at the end of the match.
Doubts will be raised over Chile's defence, with their clear lack of height sure to be an area which is exploited by better teams than Australia.
And you have to wonder how they'd cope should they get an injury to their star player, Sanchez, or less so Vidal? I'd suspect that their reserves would be no match.
Elsewhere, Mexico overcame Cameroon, thanks to a second half strike from the prolific Oribe Peralta, his 7th goal in his last 9 appearances. Eto'o came closest for the Africans, hitting the outside of the post in their only chance of note. Cameroon looked particularly poor, with no attacking players in their midfield at. Mexico will challenge Croatia for second spot in Group A, and the match between the two will no doubt be an interesting watch.

Hero of the day: Arjen Robben - as I've said elsewhere, a truly sensational display, this was Robben at his free flowing best. He might look 40, but he can still run like he's 20. An early contender for player of the tournament if he can keep this form up.

Robben - Magnificent

Disappointment of the day: Diego Costa - one could argue that he wasn't fully fit following a recent recurring hamstring strain (in which case he shouldn't have been playing), but the big Brazilian did not turn up at all. Lawro assured us in the early stages that Costa was offering the Spanish something different, but I wasn't seeing that at all. Leaden footed, short of pace, and the ball kept bouncing off him. His only contribution was to dive/'be clever' to win the penalty.
You have to respect his wonderful record with Atletico Madrid this season, but I have my reservations. I keep hearing that he is perfect for the Premier League, but without any experience of it I can't help but feel he is yet another expensive risk for Chelsea. They already have a player who has proven his ability in the league, in Lukaku, on their books. And if they wanted another player, I'd argue that a player such as Dzeko would be a better bet.

Villain of the day: The lineman in the Mexico v Cameroon match, incorrectly ruling out two Giovani Dos Santos goals. Yet more poor officiating in a tournament which is in danger of getting a reputation after only two days. Fortunately for the Mexicans it did not cost them, or there would have no doubt have been many protestations and accusations.

Wanker of the day: Iker Cssillas - I'd be very surprised if he retains his position in Spain's next match after two poor (one horrendous) errors led to goals against the Dutch. Surely it's time for the excellent David de Gea to be given his opportunity. Casillas we should remember is back up for his club (in everything but the Champions League), so it does seem very strange that he is still employed at international level.

Moment of the day: The slow motion replay of Robin van Persie's goal as he slides across the floor having just connected with the ball. His face was an absolute picture as he realised what he'd just achieved. the less said about the miss high five with his manager, Luois van Gaal, the better!

The flying Dutchman

A quick word on England tonight. Regardless of result, I hope the boys can do us all proud with a performance where they give their all, and have a real go at attacking an Italian side that I believe is not that strong.
From an outsiders point of view, it's unusual to see such a good team spirit in the England camp, and the noises coming from the players suggests that they are ready, and feeling confident.
I think Roy Hodgson deserves a lot of credit, and I for one am proud that he is our national manager. he knows the game, and he comes across like an affable and kind man. the FA, who we often criticise, should be commended on their appointment of Roy, when there was a clamour from the press for other less suitable candidates (the dodgy Harry Redknapp).
Come on England!!

Match Day 1 - Review

The World Cup finally got under way on Thursday after a seemingly never ending wait. We were greeted on ITV by a gurning Adrian Chiles, who just gets worse and worse the more I see him. To think that we have to spend the next month in his company puts somewhat of a dampener on proceedings, I just hope he doesn't spoil it completely for us.
In the studio we were treated to a surprise in the form of World Cup legend Fabio Cannavaro, one of the best defenders to have ever played the game. He spoke well, and gave us interesting anecdotes on his triumph in '06, but his knowledge of the England side was lacking somewhat (understandably) when he appeared not to even have heard of Sterling or Welbeck. Hopefully his contemporaries will be equally clueless come Saturday night.

The opening ceremony proved to be a damp squib of the likes we've not seen before, summed up by the frankly pathetic official song, which was mimed badly by J-Lo and Pitbull, a man who's success relative to his talent is surely the biggest mystery in musical history? Thankfully the quality of the sound was so bad that no one could actually hear what was going on.

Anyway, on to matters on the field. Each day I will be summarising the previous days events, taking a lighthearted look at the best and worst things and people.


Match of the Day: Brazil v Croatia

Unsurprisingly I've selected this match as my match of the day. A lot was expected of the home nation in the opening match, a match which has seen many upsets down the years, from Cameroon physically dominating Argentina at Italia '90 to Senegal edging past France in 2002.
In the end it proved a comfortable win for the hosts, but in truth it was anything but. Croatia came roaring out the blocks and could have gone ahead if the impressive veteran Ivica Olic had hit the target as he should with a header.
Moments later they did deservedly take the lead through an unlikely source. Olic was freed down the left by Rakitic, playing in a deeper role than we are accustomed to seeing him, and as he put a great ball into the 'corridor of uncertainty' poor defending by David Luiz allowed his man to get across him, and the ball was unwittingly diverted into his own net by Marcelo.
This seemed to spur the Brazilians into life, and a great ball across the box by Oscar evaded Fred by inches, and then the same man tested Pletikosa with a lovely bending effort.
When the equalising goal did arrive, it was from the boot of pin up boy Neymar, a scuffed shot from distance that bobbled in off the post. Not for the first time, the goalkeeper should have done much better.
The roof nearly came off the stadium, and the relief was clear for all to see.
The second half saw Brazil take the upper hand, with Modric and Rakitic in the centre not having nearly as much influence. The superb Luiz Gustavo, with his wonderful moustache, looking like an Indian restaurant waiter, began dictating the play.

Lamb madras and pilau rice please.

With 20 minutes to play came the pivotal moment of the match, Fred going down in the box under pressure from Lovren. The Japanese ref, out of his depth all night, had no hesitation in pointing to the spot, to the consternation of the Croatians. It really was a dreadful decision and ultimately spoiled the contest. Neymar stepped up and just about got it past the keeper, who once again should have saved it, scoring his second of the night and quite remarkably his 33rd goal in 49 games for Selecao.
Croatia knew it was not to be there night when the ref then disallowed a goal, incorrectly, for a perfectly legitimate challenge by Olic on the shaky Julio Cesar. What can you do when the referee is so clearly biased towards the home side?
Oscar completed the scoring with minutes to go, picking up the ball and driving unchallenged at the Croatian defence before toe poking his shot from fully 25 yards into the corner of the goal, with Pletisoka saving his worst mistake of the night until last.

Hero of the day: Neymar - it couldn't really have been anyone else after the boy wonder lit up the first night with two goals. He'll score better goals in his career, but with the huge pressure weighing on his young shoulders, he certainly answered his critics. Those who followed my tip of him to be the tournament top scorer will be quietly confident with matches against Cameroon and Mexico to follow.
It's worth pointing out that Neymar is contantly dropping deep to pick the ball up, something which we criticise Wayne Rooney for doing, but the difference between them is stark. Neymar's speed and ability to beat a man make him him extremely difficult to stop when he's heading towards goal, and he also doesn't give the ball away cheaply in midfield like Rooney.
His histrionics don't appeal to me. It seems like he's broken his leg every time he goes down, but then he probably only weighs about 9 stone wet though.

The real deal!

Disappointment of the day: Hulk - does anyone actually rate this man? I've not been impressed with him in any of the many matches I've seen him. In his defence, perhaps he'd be better through the middle rather than stuck on the left wing?
I'd argue that he isn't even that big, certainly not enough to warrant his nickname, with Fred noticeably much bigger. And he's also far from scary, I wouldn't be worried if I met him when he's angry.

A better footballer than his Brazilian namesake

Villain of the day: Yuichi Nishimura. he should be stripped from taking charge of another match in this competition after a hapless display that cost Croatia a point.

Wanker of the day: Has to go to Pitbull after fighting off strong competition from Adrian Chiles. How this man sells millions of records worldwide beggars belief.

This man is a global star. We need to take a look at ourselves.

Moment of the day: Definitely my highlight was when we were treated to the Goal Line Technology confirming that the ball for the first goal did cross the line. Thanks for that.


Tonight throws up 3 matches, with Spain v Holland the highlight. I hope that tomorrow I can report on numerous goals and sendings off. And look out for Chile when they get under way, my dark horses.

Did you enjoy the opening match? Did it live up to the hype? Do you own a Pitbull record? Would you dive into Fabio Cannavaro's eyes if you could?

Leave your comments below and please follow me on Twitter: @russellheaps

Guide to the Groups (F - H) and Tournament Predictions

Well, congratulations on making it to this, the opening day, of the worlds greatest sporting event. World Cup 2014, Brazil!!! Bring it on!

We are now only hours away from the first group match between hosts Brazil and Croatia. Prior to that we of course have the opening ceremony. Let's just hope that the Brazilian equivalent of Diana Ross turns up and does something similar to this:

I am going for within 10 seconds until we see the first feathery head dress. And if Blanka from Street Fighter doesn't feature then we may as well all go home.

ELECTRIC SHOCK!!!

Anyway, I digress. Following part one yesterday, this is the second part of your indispensable guide to the World Cup groups. I conclude with groups F-H.

GROUP F

Bosnia & Hercogovina could be the dark horses of the tournament. Traditionally teams from the break up of Yugoslavia have particular characteristics; tough, difficult to break down, physically imposing, and technically sound. They qualified in style, with Eden Dzeko banging in the goals, only second behind Van Persie in the European leading scorer charts, and for me he's a good outside bet for top scorer here in a weak group. In goal they have Stoke keeper Begovic, a player of real quality. Look out for midfielder Miralem Pjanic of Roma.
Argentina have the strongest forward line in the competition, of that there can be little argument. Higuain leads the line, flanked by Aguero and Messi, supplemented by the exceptional Angel Di Maria (PSG's Lavezzi in reserve). With the exception of Zabaleta and Garay (Benfica) there is not really a lot beyond that. And as we saw with Maradona's side four years ago, it's one thing having a formidable attack, but what use is that without a stable defence? The jury's out for me. I still think they'll dominate this group, but I'm not convinced they are the threat others do. In their favour, they should be relatively accustomed to the conditions on their home continent (albeit parts of Argentina are anything but Amazonian).

These men will take some stopping!

Nigeria are anything but the Super Eagles of yesteryear where they won the Olympics and were tipped by some (not me) to become the first African side to succeed on the global stage. Gone are Taribo West, Jay-Jay Okocha and Daniel Amokachi, in their place Sammy 'the Ameoba' Ameobi and Victor Moses. Their keeper will be shocking.
Iran are another side that are unknowns. They'll more than likely stay that way.

Prediction: Argentina, Bosnia & Hercogovina, Nigeria, Iran

Group G

A close group this one. Aside from Germany, who should romp home, all the other teams could take points off one another.
That said, having looked at the US squad, I can't help but feel they're going to really struggle. Much was made of Landon Donavon's omission, but by all accounts he has been gorging on pies and is nowhere near fit. They contain the worst striker in the Premier League, Jozy Altidore, in the their squad. He'll be one of the worst we'll see in the next couple of weeks. I am so convinced that he won't score that I might have agreed never to watch football ever again if he does. In his last run out (a friendly against Nigeria) he bagged two goals to bring to an end a 28 (yes, you read that right!) game goalless streak, matching his total output for Sunderland last season. Useless. Elsewhere, they have the evergreen Clint Dempsey, now getting a run out at Seattle Sounders. I wouldn't be at all surprised if they finish on nil points.

Don't expect to see this in the next few weeks

Ghana were the shock in South Africa. Undoubtedly it worked to their advantage playing on their own continent, and in the latter stages of the competition, seemed to have the whole of Africa behind them. But, can they do it again? The short answer is no. They had a group of players playing at their peak then, but now, not so much. Michael Essien is no longer the beast he was, and you have to doubt Asamoah Gyan's influence after he's spent the last few years raking in oil money in the middle east. I fancy them to upset the apple cart in this group, but surely they'll not have enough to go beyond?
Germany are one of the favourites, and look the most likely of the European teams, but they face a tough task if you look at the form books when the tournament has been in South America. They have a scarily good squad, with a number of the best players in the world. There is particularly an abundance of talent in midfield, and they arguably have the best keeper in the world in Manuel Neur. Up front is where they're a bit thin, including only two strikers, assuming you don't include Thomas Muller. One of those, Miroslav Klose is one goal behind (the fat) Ronaldo as the top ever scorer in World Cup history, and if he starts all three games you have to fancy that he'll achieve that. Good luck to him.
Portugal are the interesting inclusion here. I'd argue that they are more or less a one man team. And with Ronaldo an injury doubt for the opening games, are they going to make the mark he will be desperate for? I'm not so sure. I'd think the winner between Ghana and Portugal will be the team to qualify in second position, and I fancy Ghana to shade it.

Prediction: Germany, Ghana, Portugal, USA

Group H

Two teams called the Red Devils make up half of this group. It's been hell to predict who will win (geddit?!). Not really, Belgium will canter through this weak looking group.
Belgium seem to the football hipsters choice this summer. And whilst they do have some very good individuals, look beyond that and they're not that special (a similar level to England I'd suggest). Eden Hazard will need to find his best form, and the goals of the beast that is Lukaku (biggest player I've ever seen live) will be crucial with Benteke out injured. They are led by the rock that is Vincent Kompany at the back, and have a number of other players familiar to us from the Premier League. It'll be interesting to see whether Januzaj, who looks absolutely sensational to me, gets a chance having finally decided on which of the 18 countries he was eligible for he wanted to represent. Will the Spurs duo of Chadli and Dembele stink the place out, much like they did last season, or will they have to watch from the sidelines? And who will be the first player to be on the end of an elbow from Fellaini (red card waiting to happen) in their opening match against Algeria?
Hopefully Algeria will be a better side than the dour side that we watched grind out a bore draw with England last time, the worst England performance I've ever seen. The Algerian side is not an area I'm particularly knowledgeable about, but they have called up Bentaleb from Spurs. I think they'll be rubbish.

Russia under that old misery Fabio Capello are the only side at the finals with a squad made up of players plying their trade in their own country (England aren’t far off with Forster the odd one out). I hope they fail simply because I can't stand the manager, but they'll likely be good enough to progress to the next stage. The squad is made up of unknowns and unpronounceables. They have sustained a big loss in the shape of captain Roman Shirokov to injury, but you can never tell with the Russians, they do tend to play some attractive stuff, so who knows how strong they will be?
At the bottom South Korea will contest Algeria for the wooden spoon. Incredibly, they were semi finalists in their own country in 2002, but I don't expect them to make anything like as much of a mark this time. Everyone in their squad seems to be called Park, Lee or Chung.

Prediction: Belgium, Russia, South Korea, Algeria


So, there you have it, a run through of each of the groups. And my predictions on how they will pan out.

Just before the tournament starts, I'll go out on a limb and say where my money's is going:
Winners - Brazil
Surprise package - Chile
Golden Boot - Neymar (I do think Dzeko is a good each way bet)
Biggest disappointment -Holland, followed by Portugal.

And England will get to the quarter finals where it will depend who they face as to what happens?

Whatever lies ahead, I'm sure it's going to be a fantastic and dramatic few weeks. I'll be doing a daily blog throughout the tournament, so please do look out for those.

Leave your comments below and please follow me on Twitter: @russellheaps

Guide to the Groups (A - E)

With the greatest show on earth about to begin tomorrow, in my latest blog I look at the groups, consider which players will make their mark on the tournament, and put my balls on the block with my predictions as to how it'll pan out in the early stages.

This is part one. The second part will be up tomorrow in readiness for the opening match.

GROUP A

Clearly there is a huge weight of expectation on the host nation going into this competition. The Selecao are favourites, and indeed expected, at least by their people, to lift the trophy come July. They have been handed a fairly comfortable group, and despite a tricky opening match, I expect them to come though with maximum points.
Neymar is the poster boy of the country and will be the focus of all the cameras. Despite an indifferent debut season with Barcelona, where he lives in the shadows of Messi, I fully expect him to live up to the hype. With an outstanding 31 goals in 48 games at just 22, he seemingly does not let the pressure get to him, and appears to thrive at international level. If he can score goals of the class that he did last summer at the Confederations Cup, then all the better.
Brazil aren't a side in the mould of their traditional, sexy elders, more a pragmatic, functional team, with elements of flair in attack. That ex Everton forward Jo gets anywhere near the side says it all. With David Luiz in their defence, there is always potential of a dreadful error, a penalty or a sending off. And in goal they have Cesar, of undoubted quality, but a bench warmer for much of the season with his mercenery team mates at QPR, before lighting up the MLS (effectively League One standard football) at Toronto. Despite this, with home support behind them, I expect them to go the distance.
Croatia will provide stern competition in the opening game, and are likely to finish second in the group. Having had a wonderful season at Real Madrid, diminutive playmaker Luka Modric will come into the tournament high on confidence, and will be pulling the strings in midfield. Bayern striker Mario Mandzukic leads the line. And my tip for the player to watch, Ivan Rakitic, the exciting attacking midfielder who recently led sevilla to Europa League glory. Croatia will certainly be no push overs.

Croatia's Rakitic; one to watch

Mexico and Cameroon make up the group. Mexico are led by an ageing Rafael Marquez, with 'The Little Pea' Javier Hernandez and Spurs flop Giovanni dos Santos up front.
47 year old Samuel Eto'o is Cameroon's main goal threat. And they also boast Alex Song in midfield, who whilst at Arsenal was rated by their fans as one of the best midfielders in the Premier League (he wasn't), who now picks up the GDP of his country in wages each week for sitting on his arse at the Nou Camp. Their goalkeeper will be absolutely terrible.

Prediction: Brazil, Croatia, Cameroon, Mexico

GROUP B

'The Group of Death'. Apart from Australia, who are going to get hammered. Long gone are the days where the Soceroos could count on luminaries such as Brett Emerton, Kevin Muscat and Craig Moore, they are now basically solely dependent on Tim Cahill, who is way past his best. I don't expect to see Cahill showing off his boxing skills (his goal scoring celebration) at any point during the tournament, unless of course they all get lashed up on Castlemaine XXXX and go on the rampage after they get knocked out, which wouldn't be a huge surprise given his brothers history.
The top of the group is a 3 way split, and a lot will depend on the result of the opening match between Spain and Holland. Hopefully, a football match will break out amidst the fighting, at some point. No, on second thoughts, I'd be quite happy seeing Holland kick the crap out of the dimunitive tika-taka merchants. It'd be more exciting than watching a team pass the ball a million times, maintaining 85% possession in the process, yet only having 2 shots in 90 minutes.

More of this please Nigel

Spain in my opinion have been found out (they almost came unstuck in the final last time around), and the adopted pressing style of Barcelona will be difficult to put into practice in the heat and humidity of Brazil. We saw last summer that they are going to have to go for a different style if they want to win their unprecedented third international tournament in a row. There is no leader in retired Carlos Puyol this time, and so Pique and Ramos will have to step up. In midfield they will have the ageing but class midfield duo of Xavi and Iniesta, and up front an untested and hamstrung Brazilian striker in Diego Costa (who is bound to be given a tough time by the crowd). Of course, as back up, they have the worst ever big money signing, Fernando Torres to bring on should they need to shank any balls over the bar from 3 yards, or sulk around in the centre circle. How Llorente and Negredo have been overlooked following great debut seasons at Juventus and Manchester City respectively, I'll never know?
Will the Dutch have their usual implosion following in squad argument? There's always a good chance with a seeemingly volatile group of players. With their dominating captain Markus Van Bommel gone, they will be heavily reliant on Robin Van Persie's goals, and Arjen Robben's probing runs.
All eyes will be on Luis Van Gaal, ahead of his summer move to Manchester United, and it will be interesting to see if he can get more in this competition out of Van Persie than his out of depth club boss, Moyes, who he clearly had no respect for. If he were to get injured, which is fairly likely, they will struggle for goals. At the back, and in goal, Holland don't look particularly inspiring, and I expect this to be their downfall. Possibly their weakest squad for many a year.
Chile are many peoples (including mine) dark horses. I expect them to get out of this group at the expense of Holland, and who knows how far they'll go then? With the excellent Vidal, and the lightning fast Alexis Sanchez in their side they are going to be a match for most. They of course recently taught England a football lesson at Wembley, and on their own continent I am expecting them to have the correct tactics to succeed. I wouldn't be at all surprised if they get something against Spain.

Prediction: Spain, Chile, Holland, Australia (on nil points)

GROUP C

This is the group from which England will face their next opponent, should we progress beyond our group.
Ivory Coast are a squad full of names familiar to us from the Premier League. From Drogba to Eboue, Tiote, Kalou and Bony, via Gervinho and his five-head (which perhaps should have counted as an extra squad player?). The Elephants can boast one of the stand out midfielders in Yaya Toure, who is great in a star studded Manchester City side, but can he dominate in a lesser team such as this? His brother Kolo (inlcuded in the squad despite having malaria!!) will no doubt do his best to cock things up for them at the back as he did for Liverpool throughout the last league campaign. Drogba is naturally the star of the team, and an icon for his country, but seems the unthinkable chance that he will be replaced by an increasingly impressive Bony. Their goalkeeper will be dreadful.

Gervinho; Biggest forehead in football

I expect them to get out of the group, and they could await England in the next round?
Japan have made great strides in recent times, and technically are as competent as any of the other teams in the competition. However, their smaller stature and lack of physical presence does hold them back, and with no star names I don’t fancy their chances much.
Colombia are without their talisman, the prolific Falcao, and this will no doubt cost them dearly. Without him, Jackson Martinez, his free scoring replacement at Porto, will carry the hopes of a nation. A big ask.
In the fantastically titled Faryd Mondragon, Colombia possess the oldest player, at 42, at the competition. This will be the goalkeepers 3rd World Cup spanning 14 years, and many will fondly remember him picking the ball out of the net from Anderton and Beckham in France '98. Hopefully his back will hold up should he need to do the same against England in the 2nd round. Their squad also contains Pablo Armero, the awful defender West ham had on loan in the back half of last season. Colombia are a bit of an unknown quantity, but I'd suggest they'll progress through to the next round, but that'll be where they exit.
The winners of Euro 2004, Greece, have given all other countries hope that the impossible can be achieved, with a quite superb rearguard action. Fulham's Giorgos Karagounis remains from that side. I'll be amazed if they can even get out of a weak group, let alone win the thing this time.

Prediction: Ivory Coast, Colombia, Japan, Greece

GROUP D

The key group. Unless of course you're not English, but I think that's unlikely among my readership.
I don't go along with this talk about what a threat Uruguay are. Clearly they have an enviable striker force, but outside of this, not so much. Will Suarez have even recovered from his recent knee surgery? If he does, it'll be miraculous, and some cynics might even suggest that the severity of the injury was a publicity stunt (I'm suggesting that it was a publicity stunt). Despite his goalscoring record, and huge transfer fees, I am yet to see Cavani make an impact on a game. In fact, he was pretty pathetic over the two legs against Chelsea in the Champions League. He'll need a big tournament.
In the heart of their defence, they have Liverpool sub Seb Coates, and West Brom donkey Diego Lugano, hardly a frightening prospect. Expect Uruguay to try every trick in the book to win. Which hopefully they won't. There'll be little more satisfying than Suarez and his rat face looking dejected after slumping out of the tournament in the group.
It's not a vintage Italian side by any means, but underestimate them at your peril. Despite a run of 7 matches without a win leading up to this tournament, they are the ultimate World Cup team when it comes to grinding out results. In the pearless Pirlo, they have in my opinion the greatest midfielder in world football. How teams mimimise his threat will be key. Give him space and time and he will punish you. If I were Roy, I'd have Jordan Henderson man mark him throughout our match with them, and kick him at every opportunity until he has to go off.

Coolest man in football?

Of course, Italy have many other top class players, the wonderful Daniel De Rossi, Giorgio Chiellini marshalling the defence, and the mercurial Mario Balotelli, from whom you just don't know what you’re going to get?! The legendary veteran Gianluca Buffon is still in goal, and remains as good a keeper as you'll see in the tournament.
After a great season in Serie A, in which he scored 22 in 33 league appearances, much is expected of Ciro Immobile up front, and it seems that Prandelli may be willing to drop Balotelli in favour of the rookie youngster? I find that hard to believe, but time will tell.
Costa Rica are expected to make up the numbers in a group with 3 teams of similar quality. I'm sure they'll put up more of a fight than people are giving them credit for, and I'll be very glad if they can get something from their opening match against Uruguay. However, they recently drew in a warm up friendly against the Republic of Irelend, so they must be rubbish.
In their ranks, they have ex Fulham player Bryan Ruiz at their disposal. Unfortunately Paulo Wanchape retired in 2007, and so we will not be blessed with his drunken gazelle like play.
I've covered England in depth elsewhere, so I'll not waste your time further.

Prediction (slightly led by my heart): England, Italy, Uruguay, Costa Rica

GROUP E

A particularly boring group, one which I would imagine will throw up some uninspiring fare to watch/endure. Ecuador v Honduras at 11pm on Friday 20th looks particularly uninviting. Everyone will no doubt be rushing back from the pub to catch that one!
Switzerland currently sit 6th in the FIFA world rankings, which quite frankly makes a complete mockery of the system, not that anyone pays much attention to it anyway (we were 3rd a couple of years back, whereas Brazil have been outside the top 10 due to a lack of competitive matches for some years). They don’t possess any world beaters, but rather are renowned as playing as unit, making is tough to beat them (lest we forget that they actually overcame Spain in the last World Cup). They do have two exciting attackers in Gokhan Inler on Napoli and Xherdan Shaqiri of Bayern. I am a partcular fan of the latter from his time at Basel, and feel it is a real waste of his talent sat on the bench for the German champions. Expect both to be their stand out players.
France have gone for a young, untested squad with the notable omission of Samir Nasri. Ribery has been ruled out with a bad back, but he never delivers on the big stage, so I'd suggest that it's no big loss, and I'd rather not have to look at him anyhow. In Hugo Lloris they possess one of the best goalkeepers, particularly with regards shot stopping. Raphael Varane is one of the most promising talents in world football at the back. And alongside him, one of the most overrated players in the Premier League, Laurent Koscielny, which means there is a good chance of a penalty being given or a monumental cock up happening. Sakho of Liverpool is in reserve, so God help them if he plays as well! Big things are fancied from Paul Pogba, the sulky teenager who left Manchester United and lit up Serie A this season with Juventus. I saw him play for United at Aldershot, where he ran the show, and if he can do it in front of a packed to the rafters (8000 odd) Recreation Ground on a cold winter evening, he should be able to deal with the rigours of the World Cup I'd think. Up front they are reliant on Benzema, a player I personally don't think is from the top table as he misses too many chances (a gallic Andrew Cole if you like), and Olivier Giroud, a player who polarises opinion. In Antoine Greizmann they might have one of the tournaments young starlets, but this will depend on how much game time he gets? They should breeze through the group, but I don't fancy them to have enough to go far beyond that.

And first place in the Mario Balotelli look alike competition goes to...

The only thing I know about Honduras is that they are a good bet for the most yellow cards in the group stages.
And Ecuador are similarly a bit of a mystery. Their recent match against England suggest they are quite good going forward but suspect at the back. Their place in the tournament has as much to do with their home matches being played at altitudes where mear mortals are unable to breathe let alone run, and as such their form is exemplary.

Prediction: France, Switzerland, Ecuador, Honduras

So, there you have it. Now you know who to bet on to get through the groups, and which players will be lighting up the tournament over the next few weeks.

Do you disagree with my picks? Have I overlooked any players who could make an impression?
Leave your comments below and please follow me on Twitter: @russellheaps

The World Cup - The BIG Questions

With the World Cup within touching distance now, my latest blog looks at the BIG questions we're all asking ourselves ahead of the tournament:

*Which team will be an embarrassment to their nation? Who will go back, tail between their legs with null points to show for their efforts? I fancy the US to have a nightmare. Looking through their squad, a good goalkeeper aside, it is looking particularly threadbare. When your hopes are pinned on the worst striker in the Premier League, Jozy Altidore, then you know you're in for a tough ride. I may or may not have said that I will stop watching football if he notches at any point during the competition (I did). Surely the Aussies are going to take an absolute pasting in the Group of Death? Mind you, the Kiwi's managed to concede the fewest goals in the competition last time with three draws, but then again they weren't drawn with Spain, Holland and Chile. Other notables are Iran and Honduras (who on the other nights evidence are a good bet for most bookings/sendings off).

* Who will be our scapegoat this year? Who should I make an effigy of in readiness for our cruel exit? In '98 it was Beckham, '90 Waddle and Pearce, Rooney in '06, the list goes on. Who's going to fuck it up for an entire nation this time? Rooney is the front runner again - possibly the only time you'd use that phrase.

My effigy in 1998. It's still in the garage ready to swap the shirt.

* Will there be any fatalities in the re-run of the final between Spain and Holland from 4 years ago, where both team basically kicked the shit out of each other for 120 minutes?! Will Xabi Alonso try and exact some form of revenge for the flying kung-fu kick that Nigel de Jong planted in his ribcage? I for one certainly hope so. It's an absolute certainty that this match will not end up with the full quota of players on the pitch. And we only have to wait until Friday night to find out.

* Which player will sport the worst hair/facial hair? In the past we've seen such greats as the distinctly average Portuguese defender Abel Xavier. This year distinctly average Portuguese midfielder Raul Meireles leads the charge with his mohawk/vagrant combo. Can anyone steal his crown?

Ronaldo with a homeless bloke

* How will the Brazilians generate atmosphere? Will they do anything so drastic as to sing and cheer, and play drums in a samba rhythm whilst doing the conga around the concourses? Or will they rely on the artificial drone of the vuvuzela as the South Africans did last time around? I pray that we don't have to undergo that mind numbing sound again. It could be enough to ruin the spectacle.

* Who will be the top scorer in the competition? Is Messi going to light up the stage and drag his Argentinian team mates kicking and screaming to victory? Will one of his strike partners, Aguero or Higuain bang them in in a weak looking group? It'd take a brave man to bet against one of these. That said, with home advantage behind them, the Brazilians will be fancying their chances of success. If their poster boy, Neymar, can hit the form that he found in the Confederations Cup last summer, he is in with a real shout, and is my bet for the golden boot. Fred for Brazil, Costa or Villa for Spain, and a handful of others will be in the mix you'd think. And you can never discount Klose of Germany who only needs two goals to become the leading World Cup striker of all time.

* How long will it take the camera men to focus on the scantily clad local female fans during the opening match? And how long beyond the acceptable time will they focus their attention to said women?
Which teams fans will take the mantle of most attractive fans now that Sweden are not in the tournament (damn you Ronaldo and co!)? My betting is on the Dutch if my experiences in Amsterdam are anything to by, although I doubt their liberal attitudes towards life will wash quite so easily in Brazil.

We're going to miss this in Brazil. Can Holland step up to the plate?

*What animal is going to replace the legend that is Paul the Octopus this year? Paul, from Weymouth, had a success rate of 85% as he correctly predicted 11 out of 13, which if you'd followed him at the bookies would have seen you sitting very pretty indeed. RIP Paul. Hopefully we're going to get some other mystic creature to blindly follow with out money this time.

*Which player will we see have the most memorable/cringeworthy goal celebration this year? From Bebeto's baby cradling in '94, to Roger Milla's corner flag dancing and Toto Schillaci's eye popping emotion in '90, through to the Crouch-atron in '06, there have been all manner of great celebrations. I'm looking forward to some original thought this summer. And hopefully we'll be seeing a lot of Daniel Sturridge's weird wavy arm thing.

*Which England player will wilt in the heat the most? The smart money will be on Rooney, but I think Baines and Milner are going to melt. At least we've got an excuse ready.

*What long term liver damage are we likely to suffer from 30 days on the piss? Is anyone else worried about the late pissed up school nights, but still having to appear on top form to your boss in work the next morning? It's going to be tough, but if we're all their for one another, we can pull through. I'm sure it's going to be worth it. You just cannot beat a World Cup summer!

*And just how off our heads are we going to be at 1am this coming Sunday? It's due to be a scorcher, so I feel it's only right to spend the afternoon in a pub garden gearing up for the 11pm kick off.

Not long to wait now, only 3 more days. Excitement is palpable.

What are you looking forward to the most? Who's going to win the coveted fittest fans title? Who's your money on for the golden boot?
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